From stephen.bailey at powerlase.com Thu Apr 6 09:38:06 2006 From: stephen.bailey at powerlase.com (Stephen Bailey) Date: Thu Apr 6 09:40:02 2006 Subject: [Jokes4u] Gene Pitney Message-ID: Apparently it will take 3 weeks to get a coffin for Gene Pitney made out of oak . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . but only . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24 hours from balsa. === sgb From stephen.bailey at powerlase.com Thu Apr 6 10:14:12 2006 From: stephen.bailey at powerlase.com (Stephen Bailey) Date: Thu Apr 6 10:30:00 2006 Subject: [Jokes4u] Shopkeepers Message-ID: The shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS. He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES. The shopkeeper was panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop-it read... MAIN ENTRANCE. From stephen.bailey at powerlase.com Wed Apr 12 12:20:32 2006 From: stephen.bailey at powerlase.com (Stephen Bailey) Date: Wed Apr 12 12:24:11 2006 Subject: [Jokes4u] FW: Possible Scam Message-ID: For info -----Original Message----- From: Jon.Hirons@warwickshire.pnn.police.uk [mailto:Jon.Hirons@warwickshire.pnn.police.uk] Sent: 12 April 2006 11:51 To: Cox, Tony Subject: Possible scam Message to All Staff - Possible scam <<...OLE_Obj...>> <<...OLE_Obj...>> For your information If you receive a card through your door from a company call PDS (Parcel Delivery Service) saying that they have a parcel awaiting delivery instructions and can you contact them on 0906 6611911 DO NOT call the number as this is a mail scam originating from Belize If you call the number and you start to hear a recorded message you will already have been billed ?15 for the phone call. If you do receive a card with these details, then please contact Royal Mail Fraud on 02072396655 or ICTIS at www.icstis.org.uk or your local trading standards office. This is a genuine scam. ICTIS have the following information about this number. This is a card posted through your letter box from PDS Parcel Delivery suggesting that they were unable to deliver a parcel and to call the premium rate number in question. This service costs ?1.50 per minute. This service is under investigation by ICSTIS. Please be aware of this scam and forward this information to as many as possible. R W Lane Force Information Security Officer Internet email is not to be treated as a secure means of communication. If received in error, please notify the originator immediately. Any unauthorised use, disclosure, copying or alteration of this email is strictly forbidden. Views or opinions expressed in this email do not necessarily represent those of Warwickshire Police. All Warwickshire Police email activity is monitored for malicious code, racist, obscene, or otherwise inappropriate activity. No responsibility is accepted by Warwickshire Police for any loss or damage arising in any way from the receipt or use of this email. Thank you for your co-operation. Warwickshire Police. From stephen.bailey at powerlase.com Fri Apr 21 10:38:56 2006 From: stephen.bailey at powerlase.com (Stephen Bailey) Date: Fri Apr 21 10:38:50 2006 Subject: [Jokes4u] Butcher Message-ID: I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him ?50 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."