From stephen.bailey at powerlase.com Tue May 2 04:04:15 2006 From: stephen.bailey at powerlase.com (Stephen Bailey) Date: Tue May 2 04:03:43 2006 Subject: [Jokes4u] Define a father Message-ID: A father is a guy who has snapshots in his wallet where his money used to be. From SGBailey at iee.org Tue May 2 15:45:54 2006 From: SGBailey at iee.org (Steve Bailey) Date: Tue May 2 15:46:05 2006 Subject: [Jokes4u] George Message-ID: <4457B6F2.50700@iee.org> "Why did the American colonists fight the War of Independence?" "Because they were sick of being ruled by an idiot named George who only got the job because he inherited it from his father, another idiot named George." From c.bockettpugh at btinternet.com Wed May 3 04:44:37 2006 From: c.bockettpugh at btinternet.com (Charles Bockett-Pugh) Date: Wed May 3 15:52:38 2006 Subject: [Jokes4u] The Maths Teachers Message-ID: A man and his wife have been teaching maths for 30 years. She comes home one Friday after work to find a note from him. "Darling wife, You are now 54 and there are things which I need that you can no longer supply. I am off to the Grand Hotel for the weekend with Amanda. See you on Monday." When he walks into the foyer at the Grand, he finds a fax from his wife. "Darling Husband, You too are now 54, and so I am off to the Metropole with John the rent boy. He is 18 and a strapping lad. Being a mathematician, I leave you to figure out how many more times 18 goes into 54 than 54 can go into 18." Charles Bockett-Pugh -- No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.1.385 / Virus Database: 268.5.1/328 - Release Date: 01/05/2006 From stephen.bailey at powerlase.com Fri May 5 07:41:13 2006 From: stephen.bailey at powerlase.com (Stephen Bailey) Date: Fri May 5 07:40:35 2006 Subject: [Jokes4u] Some folk get it wrong Message-ID: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/low/england/bristol/4974374.stm From stephen.bailey at powerlase.com Wed May 10 09:29:32 2006 From: stephen.bailey at powerlase.com (Stephen Bailey) Date: Wed May 10 09:28:39 2006 Subject: [Jokes4u] Rush hour... Message-ID: Mediocre but I felt worth sending out... === * Freeway congestion is getting so bad, you can change a tire without losing your place in line. * All across the country rush hour traffic is bumper to bumper. The next thing they'll be selling is anti-perspirant to put under your car's fenders. * Traffic is always heavy in both directions. There are just as many people trying to get to whatever you're trying to get away from. * You have mixed feelings when you see an opening in rush hour traffic. You're glad for the opening, but you wonder who died. * It's useless to print roadmaps anymore. You just get on the highway and go wherever the other cars take you. * The only way to get home from work on time is to take the day off... even then, you're cutting it close. * Traffic is so bad nowadays, a pedestrian is someone in a hurry. * You can sit on the highways forever. In fact, some places have little exit ramps where you can pull over and make a car payment. * During rush hour the only way you can change lanes is to buy the car driving next to you. From stephen.bailey at powerlase.com Wed May 10 09:41:31 2006 From: stephen.bailey at powerlase.com (Stephen Bailey) Date: Wed May 10 09:40:37 2006 Subject: [Jokes4u] Another wacky news bulletin! Message-ID: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/low/england/london/4756351.stm Do you really want to try this at home?